Fees and FAQ

Sessions last approximately one hour. The usual frequency of sessions is weekly. As counselling progresses and there are good signs of progress, the frequency of sessions can be reduced.

This situation often occurs. Maybe you have tried a few times to convince your partner that you both need help. It may be that your partner does not know or does not fully understand what to expect from couple counselling. Perhaps they expect that they will be blamed for the situation or does not trust the confidentiality of the counselling.

Very often, especially if there is a history of poor communication, you may need to reconsider the way you approach the question. Avoid a blaming attitude. You are more likely to get a positive answer if you say something like: 

“I feel very unhappy because we seem to be so distant from each other and we seem to be fighting so much. Please don’t think I am blaming you. I know we are both to blame. I love you deeply but we don’t seem to be able to find the happiness we once had. I think we need professional help so that we can both be happier.” 

Then give your partner time to consider. 

If they still refuse, you could still receive benefit from individual counselling. When one partner makes positive changes to their own ways of relating, then the whole dynamic of the relationship changes.

Counselling can help you to look at ways to change and improve your own communication patterns and how to bring those changes into your relationship. Doing this usually has a positive effect and you may find that your partner will adopt a more positive attitude and could eventually bring them to decide that couple counselling would be helpful.

The initial session will be devoted to a gentle exploration of the problem(s) from the individual perspectives of both partners. We will discuss your expectations and what you hope to achieve. We will also discuss goals and formulate a strategy for reaching those goals.

Sometimes it will take more than one session to achieve this, but please remember that ultimate success often depends upon a clear definition of the problem(s) and a clear and agreed strategy for achieving desired goals.

Relationship counselling is not about apportioning blame, although sometimes there is a need to discuss past behaviour with a view to healing hurt and what needs to change for the future. 

At the initial session I will also answer any questions you may have about the counselling process or about your particular situation.

Yes, they can. However, we have to distinguish between sexual problems which are due to poor communication and other relationship difficulties, as against those that are due to what are called ‘psychosexual’ problems. Sexual problems that are purely due to poor communication generally improve as the communication improves, although sometimes more specific help may be needed.

Psychosexual problems are different and refer to specific problems with sexual intercourse. Some of these problems include erection difficulties, premature ejaculation, difficult penetration or painful sex, orgasm problems and lack of or reduced sexual interest. Psychosexual problems require very specific therapy. In talking about psychosexual problems, we are assuming that any medical problems have first been ruled out.

No matter which partner is experiencing the difficulty they are best treated as a couple problem and not just a problem for the individual. It is important to realise however that treatment for psychosexual problems first requires that the couple has a relatively good level of communication.

There are many types of violence including physical, mental and emotional, and can be perpetrated and experienced by any gender. Depending on the type and level of violence, a lot of work may be required.

Perpetrators will usually have to do a lot of personal work on themselves. Very often the victim will also need counselling or psychotherapy. While that work goes on it is imperative that a safe environment is agreed and established. Issues arise including fear, trust, hurt. If both people are willing to do the work, healing of the past is possible and it can lead to a brighter and more peaceful future.

Yes. Your privacy is very important and I do everything I can to ensure it. My office is attached to my home but is separate from it. It has its own separate entrance at the side of the house. I leave sufficient time between clients so that it is highly unlikely that you will ever meet another client. In this regard I ask that you would arrive no more than five minutes before your appointed time.

People of all sexual orientations are welcome.

No. At Haven Counselling couple counselling is charged at the same rate as individual counselling. Please refer to fees.

Deciding to seek counselling or psychotherapy is a very important decision. In order to help you, I invite you to request a free, no obligation, initial meeting. This will not be a counselling or therapy session. The focus of this meeting will be to discuss your needs and how I can help you, thereby helping you to decide if this is right for you.

You may wish to take time to consider this. If you decide to go ahead then we will decide together on the next course of action. Usually I will be able to offer you a regular appointment time or we can discuss a more flexible arrangement.

If you aren't sure what you want to achieve from therapy, your first task is to identify that. It could take more than one session for you to know the source(s) of your unhappiness and to decide what you want to achieve. As you continue in your therapy you get a clearer picture of your goals. Having a clear direction will enable you get the most out of the experience.

I maintain a limited number of places for clients in financial difficulties. However, I can only apply reduced fees for daytime appointments. Please call to discuss this.

Free street parking is available very close to the office.